The Reason I Do it...

I don't plan on posting this often, but the job I do everyday is amazing, rewarding, inspiring, heartbreaking and sooo much more! So sometimes thoughts of past patients come into my mind and I am moved by all those emotions again and again. Tonight was one of those nights. As I sit here now I am looking down the barrel of 4 yes 4 12-Hour shifts in a row over this holiday weekend and I ponder the past 6 years and all the patients I have cared for.

A patient's wife brought me back to a place tonight that is very dear to me! Before I continue let me give you a little background... I went straight from HS to Rockford College. After 4 years I received a BSN. After graduation I had BIG dreams!!! I was gonna be a Trauma ICU nurse...And that is jus what I did! I got a job at a Level I Trauma Center ( for those of you that don't know what that is, it means we take the worst of the worst traumas). I was 22 years old and probably the most naive and "wet behind the ears" girl out there. But the first summer I was off my orientation, (ICU nurses have to do 6  months of precepted training called a residency) was the by far busiest time I can remember! We were very very short staffed and it seemed like the traumas just kept coming...I smile now as I think back on that summer! 

But I swear that first year, I cried more than any other time in my life. I was touched and forever changed by so many people. I hope that I in turn touched the lives of those I helped. But one patient will always be at the forefront of my mind. He changed my career and my life...Anytime anyone asks me about a touching story or my biggest success, he and his wife are my first thought...ALWAYS. I can never tell his story without goosebumps or tears. I won't even try...But check out the video and have some tissues ready!!!

Brian & Annie I am a changed Nurse and a better person because of the amazing opportunity to be a part of your recovery! I am so glad that I was a part of it!

Come Walk A Mile In Our Shoes...

Well I have had this blog for quite a while. But I let it go by the wayside. You know how life gets in the way sometimes. I was also not sure I had enough interesting things to say that anyone else would care about. Then after becoming a huge fan of some of my amazing friend's blogs, I realized how much I DO have to say and how therapeutic this activity can be! So even if no one else ever reads it or cares about my "Rants" I now know that blogging allows me to express the array of emotions that my unique life stirs up!!!

For my first post I just wanted to share something I found today when I randomly logged into my Myspace account after 3 years...this was originally posted on 3/19/09. I didn't write this. It is a compilation of many nurses experiences, but it is so amazingly written that I just had to share it.

Come walk in our shoes for a 12-hour shift. Come see the joy, the tragedy, the comedy, the 100 ways we are pulled and pushed, then rate my "pleasant greeting", "answers call light in timely fashion", "states name of patient."
Use the bathroom now, because you might not get the chance again until your shift ends. Wear comfortable shoes. Don't worry if they're clean. They'll end up with blood and vomit on them.
We are the patient's advocate, the doctors' eyes and ears, and everyone's scapegoat. We can page your doctor but we can't make that doctor magically appear. We check your stitches, wipe your blood, drain your pus and empty your bedpan.
Nursing is a tough job, but we're tougher. We've been yelled at by administrators, supervisors and doctors. We've been kicked, slapped, punched, spat on, and sexually harassed by patients in various states of delirium, mental illness, arrogance, and intoxication. We've even had chairs and food trays thrown at us.
We work mandatory overtime, weekends and holidays. We eat Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with coworkers.
We deal with families who ignore visiting hours, bring food to patients on restricted diets, and insist on staying the night even though it's not a private room. We deal with the Florida son who orders us around to show a parent he's neglected for years that he cares. We cannot be at your side every waking minute. We have other patients. We cannot answer 5 call lights at once. We
can't stop doing CPR on a patient because you ran out of tissues. We are not maids, beauticians, or cocktail waitresses. We are professionals with college degrees.
We hate that we can't spend more bedside time with you. Swearing at us will not make us move faster. Taking better care of your health would help. Quit smoking. Lose weight. Start exercising. Stop drinking.
How do we survive? We ignore the nasty comments, the demanding relatives, the crazy staffing grids. We count to 10 before speaking. We pray every morning for strength and wisdom, patience and empathy. We drive home tired and frustrated, telling ourselves over and over , "I'm not the nurse I want to be, but I'm the best nurse the hospital staffing allows me to be." We fall asleep praying for the ones who won't survive the night.
There is no finish line, ever. Nursing is demanding, fulfilling, and we can't imagine doing anything else. Nothing beats washing blood and glass off a car crash survivor , stabilizing a broken neck, saving a diabetic's leg, keeping a cancer patient in remission.
The day we send a patient home we relish the unbelievable resilience of the human body and spirit.
We did not become nurses for the hours, the salary, or the glamour of it all. We became nurses to make a difference.
We don't ask for much...One sincere THANK YOU once in a while makes all the thankless hours worth it.