25 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me...

 1. I shower in the dark...Every day!

2. Peanut butter and Oreos are my comfort food.            

3. I was a swimmer in HS!-Well you prolly knew that...But I am afraid of the water, Not pool water, but water where you can't see the bottom ie lakes, rivers, the ocean!-LOL

4. I should have majored in English in college. Apparently I'm gifted in that area (Says a very important test) but I dislike it very much.

5. I almost quit nursing school my freshman year!-Thank God I didn't!

6. Sometimes, when I am really stressed out, I like to sit in my walk-in closet...In the dark.      

7. I have curly hair!-Ok you knew that too...But I hid it until I was a junior in HS and I have no idea why!-LOL

8. I have been afraid of the Halloween movies since I was six...But every time they are on TV or a new one comes out, I HAVE to watch it.

9. I have multiple tattoos!-Alot of people don't know that about me cuz I hide them...for no apparent reason...Other than I can!!!-LOL

10. I have a 1/2 sister somewhere out there in the world, that I have never met...

11. I've never been arrested. But one time a cop put in me handcuffs to scare me!-And oh man did it ever!!!

12. I am scared  to death of going to jail! Not that I ever break the law (At least not a law big enough to warrant jail time), but jus the thought or threat of being hauled in to the BIG HOUSE makes me want to be a law abiding citizen and never ever break ANY laws...EVER!

13. I'm spoiled in my relationship. I expect to get tucked in every time I go to sleep...And sometimes for fun I get un-tucked jus so I can get tucked in again!                        

14. I am OBSESSED w/ gangsta culture...ie Gangs, The Hood, Rap Music etc.

15. I had braces in HS...Obviously right?! Well I loved every minute they were on my teeth and I was very sad to see them go!

16. I absolutely LOVE babies/kids. Although I am undecided whether I want to have any of my own.
  
17. I dream of the day I can go back to college and get a degree in something totally useless...Just for fun!

18. I love to eat, but hate to cook.

19. I have always thought I could share my nursing skills by helping others in a 3rd world country.

20. I am slightly obsessed with ducks, and anything with stripes!!!

21. I have a big red mark on the back of my right arm. It looks like a giant bruise. People never believe me when I tell them it's a burn scar from when I was 2.

22. I'm a secret gear head. I LOVE cars!!!-I could totally become a mechanic!

23. I will knock you down in order to get home to watch One Tree Hill!!!

24. I'm a major BITCH when I'm tired.

25. I worry about money all the time...Even when I have plenty of it. So, because of this irrational worry, I MUST always put at least one thing back before I check out at the store... 

WordLess Wednesdays-Awesome Outtakes!!!

WordLess Wednesdays-Sister In Laws or BFFs?!

Definitely BFFs !!!

Sometimes You Jus' Gotta Suck The Poison Out...

The last few months have brought many life altering experiences for me. I have felt emotions from both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. So there are certain times throughout each day that I reflect on the things that have happened in my life and how I am a changed person because of it all. And as I mull over how my life and the lives of all of us are changed by our past experiences I start to realize how others in your life can change your path and psyche. Whether the effect is good or bad. It is inevitable that the words and actions of others can have a profound effect on not only our lives but the way we see the world and ourselves in it. I have a bad habit of allowing my mood and choices to be affected by others. And after all the drama over the last few weeks I am just now starting to step back and reflect on the people around me and my reaction to their words and actions. There are people in my life that are a very calming and positive influence and they enhance my life. These are the people that I must cherish and nurture my relationships with. But then of course I end up thinking about all the people that have had a negative influence on me.
As I think about all the negativity that certain people have brought into my life I am sad. Last night I started exploring all the toxic people that I have surrounded myself with lately and came to this conclusion-"Well of course you feel this way when you allow those negative people to influence your mind and your life decisions!!!"  After my "breakthrough" I was drawn to a bit of old school first aid. In any first aid class that includes wilderness training you are given poisonous snake info. If someone was ever bitten by a snake we were taught to suck the poison out. And I thought to myself how appropriate that little piece of advice really is. I think it applies here too. When you surround yourself with "SNAKES" eventually you will get bitten. The events of the last month have proven that "SNAKES" are everywhere and you must protect yourself. So as of today I am ridding my life of all of them. And in order to heal and move forward on my journey toward inner peace and happiness I GOTTA SUCK THE POISON OUT! And that is exactly what I have been doing. Metaphorically I have been sucking all the "POISON" out of my life. It has been a very cleansing and amazing experience. I am no longer allowing toxic people to have any affect on my life or have a forum to derail me from what I am trying to accomplish. And to anyone that has not figured out who the "SNAKES" are in your life, BEWARE!!!

 They are not always obviously "poisonous." The worst "SNAKES" in my life were the ones that snuck up on me. They were in the form of people that I thought cared about me and had my best interest in mind. But it turns out, they were the worst kind of people...They pretended to care in order to gain my trust, and then when I was vulnerable...They struck...
And "bit" me, multiple times. But now that I recognize this, I am changed. And this scenario will never happen to me again!!!

So, Goodbye SNAKES!!! And see ya later POISON. Consider yourself sucked!-LOL

There's A Secret That Kills 4 Women A Day...

Did you know that there is a secret that kills 4 women every day? Did you know that most of those women suffer in silence. They think that there is nowhere for them to turn, nowhere to find help, and no way to escape?!  I'm talking about Domestic Violence people, and it's running rampid in our society. Many women swear it will never happen to them. They say things like "I'd never put up that..." or "Why don't those women just leave...?"or "That would never happen to me..." But I can tell you from personal experience...You never know how hard it can be to live those words. Sometimes you don't even realize that it is abuse at first. You think it was just a few mean or degrading comments or threats in the heat of the moment during a fight or argument, an he IS sorry right?! I have said those words...lived those words...MANY MANY times! Domestic Violence comes in many forms, so just because it hasn't gotten physical...YET...doesn't mean it's not abuse...

Living with domestic violence makes you feel like you do not have a voice. You also feel as though you are completely transparent and your worst fear is that someone is going to see the reality of your situation and expose it. You watch those around you and wonder if they can see right through the wall you have built up to hide the truth. Your main goal in life becomes trying to keep your secret. I myself became what I consider a master of masks. Although my situation was mild in comparison to the stories I have recently been reading, I was still very good at making excuses for and totally denying the underlying causes and the abuse I suffered. In most instances it was just emotional and or verbal abuse, but believe me, that was enough to scar me and change me forever. Alcoholism fueled the abuse I endured and the worst part about my experience was that he was such an awesome guy most of the time (actually all the time when he was sober). I truly loved everything about him when he was sober. The abuse was only part of our relationship when alcohol was involved, which was sporadic. But over 5 years the occurrences of drinking and verbal/emotional abuse became more and more frequent and the level of viciousness escalated. The culmination of it all was the one and only time it became physical. And that was the beginning of the end. It actually took him putting his hands on me for my eyes to truly be opened to the fact that I was...to my astonishment...in an abusive relationship. I asked myself "How could I have let that happen?!" I always assumed that because I was raised in a good home and have a supportive family that nothing like that would or could ever happen to me...But boy was I wrong! And I hate to admit it, but I was one of those people that said some of the above stated stereotypical things..."I would never allow anyone to treat me like that" and "Why do those women stay?!" But now as I look back, I realize how wrong I was, and how wrong so many women are that think they are immune to this devastating epidemic in not only our country but the entire world.

So, here are some scary statistics/facts for you. Many of these facts are very eye opening...Shocking even...



-Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.


-There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters.-Can you say RIDICULOUS?!?!


-3-4 million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.


-1 woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States.
  
-1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.-25 % ya'll.....Geeeeeeez.

-Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.-Obviously, That's why so many women suffer in silence.


-A battering incident is rarely an isolated event and tends to increase and become more violent over time.


-Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.-This is one of the scariest ones to me!


-Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. 30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.


I could go on and on with all the facts. But I won't. I will just leave you with one final thought... While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend ,and insult her, there's a man wanting to remind her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her , there is a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there is a man wanting to steal smiles from her. I WILL be OK!


As I continue to heal and work through it all I will be able to share more. I may even be able to share my entire story with more than the few people I have told. But until then this link has a powerful message...

If you turn your face towards the sun, the shadows will disappear...

The images/video are not my own work, but are so amazing. They are helping me begin to tell my story and allow me to being the healing process...

Yup, It's OK...# 3

 Yup, It's OK:
1. To watch re-runs over and over...and over.
2. To apologize, even when you are not wrong, in order to save a friendship.
3. To buy $70 jeans, but buy your groceries at Aldi.
4. To cry at sappy movies, and love it!
5. To take every single personal day, holiday, and sick day that you are entitled to and not feel guilty about it.6. To have your fav. take-out places on speed dial.
7. To secretly hope that your exes consider you the one that got away....
8. To buy it without trying it on, ALL the time!
9. To laugh inappropriately at all the bozos on The Maury show!
10. To think “I’m waaay prettier than her” when you see your boyfriend’s ex.