There's A Secret That Kills 4 Women A Day...

Did you know that there is a secret that kills 4 women every day? Did you know that most of those women suffer in silence. They think that there is nowhere for them to turn, nowhere to find help, and no way to escape?!  I'm talking about Domestic Violence people, and it's running rampid in our society. Many women swear it will never happen to them. They say things like "I'd never put up that..." or "Why don't those women just leave...?"or "That would never happen to me..." But I can tell you from personal experience...You never know how hard it can be to live those words. Sometimes you don't even realize that it is abuse at first. You think it was just a few mean or degrading comments or threats in the heat of the moment during a fight or argument, an he IS sorry right?! I have said those words...lived those words...MANY MANY times! Domestic Violence comes in many forms, so just because it hasn't gotten physical...YET...doesn't mean it's not abuse...

Living with domestic violence makes you feel like you do not have a voice. You also feel as though you are completely transparent and your worst fear is that someone is going to see the reality of your situation and expose it. You watch those around you and wonder if they can see right through the wall you have built up to hide the truth. Your main goal in life becomes trying to keep your secret. I myself became what I consider a master of masks. Although my situation was mild in comparison to the stories I have recently been reading, I was still very good at making excuses for and totally denying the underlying causes and the abuse I suffered. In most instances it was just emotional and or verbal abuse, but believe me, that was enough to scar me and change me forever. Alcoholism fueled the abuse I endured and the worst part about my experience was that he was such an awesome guy most of the time (actually all the time when he was sober). I truly loved everything about him when he was sober. The abuse was only part of our relationship when alcohol was involved, which was sporadic. But over 5 years the occurrences of drinking and verbal/emotional abuse became more and more frequent and the level of viciousness escalated. The culmination of it all was the one and only time it became physical. And that was the beginning of the end. It actually took him putting his hands on me for my eyes to truly be opened to the fact that I was...to my astonishment...in an abusive relationship. I asked myself "How could I have let that happen?!" I always assumed that because I was raised in a good home and have a supportive family that nothing like that would or could ever happen to me...But boy was I wrong! And I hate to admit it, but I was one of those people that said some of the above stated stereotypical things..."I would never allow anyone to treat me like that" and "Why do those women stay?!" But now as I look back, I realize how wrong I was, and how wrong so many women are that think they are immune to this devastating epidemic in not only our country but the entire world.

So, here are some scary statistics/facts for you. Many of these facts are very eye opening...Shocking even...



-Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.


-There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters.-Can you say RIDICULOUS?!?!


-3-4 million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.


-1 woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States.
  
-1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.-25 % ya'll.....Geeeeeeez.

-Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.-Obviously, That's why so many women suffer in silence.


-A battering incident is rarely an isolated event and tends to increase and become more violent over time.


-Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.-This is one of the scariest ones to me!


-Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. 30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.


I could go on and on with all the facts. But I won't. I will just leave you with one final thought... While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend ,and insult her, there's a man wanting to remind her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her , there is a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there is a man wanting to steal smiles from her. I WILL be OK!


As I continue to heal and work through it all I will be able to share more. I may even be able to share my entire story with more than the few people I have told. But until then this link has a powerful message...

If you turn your face towards the sun, the shadows will disappear...

The images/video are not my own work, but are so amazing. They are helping me begin to tell my story and allow me to being the healing process...