A Toll On My Soul...

 I am very passionate about my work. Saving lives is what I was put on this earth to do. It is MY PURPOSE. But dealing w/ life and death everyday can be tough on the soul, but I wouldn't change a thing. My mom is a nurse as well. I come to her for advice and reassurance when my career takes a tole on my soul. The following is an email I got from my mom after the first in a small collection of the toughest nights in my career thus far. I was faced w/ death's reality head-on for the first time in my career. It was an angle on life and death that I had never experienced before. It was truely a life altering event for me professionally and otherwise. And now nursing is a fixture in my life and who I am. And I do it well!


And now in the words of "The Original" GR-8 1, The illustrious  Ellen Pyrek aka MOM
Remember death is yet another of life's transitions.  When all else fails; if you can help to make that transition more peaceful and less painful and support those left behind; as a nurse you have succeeded.  The decision of when it is another's time to go is not, after all, up to us!!! The patients and families I have cared for are not simply faces from the past. There is a place in my heart where I remember each and every one, and I have a unique legacy from each of them that spurs me onward. I am a better nurse because of them. I am a better person because of them...!" 
So after a tremendously sad holiday weekend or any other time I need to be reminded of the reason why I do what I do, I come back to this e-mail. And it brings me back to amazing opportunity I was blessed with to touch people's lives. I have found peace in the fact that no matter what the outcome I play a pivotal role in the game we call LIFE.

 Thanks Mom...

Yup, It's OK...# 5

Yup, It's OK:

1. To think about what you'd do and where you'd go if there was ever really a zombie apocalypse!

2. To daydream about what you would spend all the money on if you actually won the lottery.-Not that I even play the lotto...

3. To carry your camera around with you...EVERYWHERE!

4. To pick your nose (shut up...Everyone does it) Jus don't get caught.

5. To love kids but not want any of your own.

6. To love what you do for a living, but not want top spend your entire life working.

7. To not need to brag about your relationship to validate it. The best ones are the ones that don't need any outside praise.

8. To talk to yourself.

9. To have embarrassing tattoos and equally embarrassing stories about how you got them.

10. To disregard "NO TRESPASSING" signs as more of a suggestion than a command.

WordLess Wednesdays-Proof That It's The Person Behind The Camera, Not The Equipment That Produce Amazing Images!

 ALL of these shots were taken with either my old point and shoots or a cell phone camera and edited on Picnik!

WordLess Wednesdays-Pure Unconditional Love...

My Photography Rant Of The Day 1

I was trolling through Facebook when I came across a post that read-
"As a photographer, the term I've seen a LOT of these past few months is "fauxtographer." When I was in high school, I was on the swim team. At every single practice, my coach who I still love, DRILLED me like crazy. After EVERY workout, he'd give me something to concentrate on. I'd concentrate on that, and forget something else. Then he'd go back. It was a constant back and forth battle on my form in the water over a multitude of strokes. Was I a fauxswimmer? NO! I went on to set the school record, won counties, placed 2nd in conference, and swim regionals. I have a blog coming in 2012 about fauxtography. STOP USING IT & just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming swimming!" 

So I ( who was a swimmer in H/S myself) was naturally drawn to it and began reading the comments underneath it...And I was, to say the least, annoyed. I have always thought of photography as an art form and not a business. I have never claimed to  be a professional, ie my Facebook fan page is listed as "Artist." But I completely disagree with the way these so called professionals treat others who do photography. Everyone starts somewhere. And they were beginners once too. Who the heck do these people think they are?! Those jackasses that use descriptions for artists who are new to the wonderful world of photography such as "FAUXTOGRAPHERS" or saying stupid stuff like "Owning a DSLR doesn't make you a photographer...It makes you a DSLR owner." jus make them haters. And actually a photographer is exactly what it makes you. Anyone who takes pictures, regardless of the equipment or settings, ARE photographers. 

Photography is an art form and a very wonderful tool for self expression. Just because someone doesn't choose to do things the same way you do it with their own art doesn't make them a fraud, it makes them unique and interesting. So my response to these Haters was-"Having a camera may not make someone a photographer in some people's mind, but it DOES make them an artist! Everyone starts somewhere and I wonder why this so called business has to be so cut throat." 

I went on to re-post a status I had made a few weeks ago which stated simply-
"Photography is my ART. It gives me a voice, and allows me to contribute to the world creatively. It is a love and a passion in my life. But it is NOT my profession. So for that reason, I can make ANY statement I want with my images! And the freedom to do so is intoxicating!!!" 
If this opinion makes me a "Fauxtographer" in some people's books...So be it! My opinion may ruffle a few feathers, and I may lose some fans for it, but it needed to be said. My real/true supporters & fans know me and seek me out for my unique vision and a true love for the art of photography.

The EveryDay SuperHero Legacy-The Origins...

As most of you know I have always thought of myself as a superhero of sorts. The EveryDay SuperHero to be exact. My life's work allows me to touch lives in a way that very few others can. I have the ability to ease pain, save lives, support grieving families/patients, laugh and cry with them daily, and many other very amazing things. My calling as a nurse has changed me forever. But I'm sad to say that I cannot take credit for anything about this phenomenon other than the hard work I put in to become the best nurse I can be. Oh no, you see because I am not the only one w/ this SuperHero heart. Both my brothers are EveryDay SuperHeroes as well.

My oldest brother Scott is a cop and puts himself in harms way to help others and keep us safe. And my brother Steveis a fireman/paramedic that saves lives and doesn't think twice about running into burning buildings. But that is not beginning...It all started w/ our SuperHero mom. It is her heart and desire to help others that has made our family one full of extraordinary people that help others and save lives every day at work.! I refer to this as the Crawford SuperHero Heart, but the truth is that my mom's spirit and The Conner blood that courses through our veins are what made all of us humble enough to serve others.  Is it possible to have so much selflessness is one family? The Crawford Family is proof. And the most amazing part of this is I see that beautiful selfless soul and giving heart carrying on to the next generation!
There are already 4 Crawford boys and another one on the way in the next generation of EveryDay SuperHeroes. And I can already see that the legacy continues. What a way to show our one of a kind mom how much she means to not only us but to the world! So stay tuned for future installments as I headline each of The Crawford Boys and their amazingness!

Wordless Wednesdays-Images That Speak To Me...

15 More Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me...

Oh I am such a bad girl. I have been neglecting my poor blog...Well I decided my list of quirky things you may not know about me required more than 25 on the list! So here is 15 more...

1. I am obsessed with all horror movies, no matter how low budget they are or how bad the plot is, I must watch them!
 
2. I can watch reruns of Roseanne over and over...AND OVER!!! 

3. I LOATHE people who don't pull up close enough to the car in front of them at a stop light...And I  BITCH about it every time I see it!

4. Pumpkins are my fav. thing about Fall. They may even be on my "Top 5 Fav. Things In Life" list!!!

5. I hate clutter, so I MUST pick up every day before I go to bed...No matter what time it is!

6. Fast food places have a vendetta against me. No matter what fast food restaurant it is or what town I am in, they ALWAYS mess up my order, but never the orders of the people I am with...

7. Big places with lots of people give me major anxiety! So I hate Concerts, Fairs, and Sporting Events etc.

8. I hate bugs and being hot, so summer is torture for me. I love to see it rough the window of my air conditioned home though!

9. Sometimes I can take a long car ride in complete silence.

10. When I really love a song I play it over and over and over...I sometimes end up getting sick of it and hating it. Even though I know this about my self, I still do it all the time.

11. I am left handed.

12. I cry often at shows...Even when I've seen them 1000 times and I know what happens in the end. When they cry I do too.

13. I put ketchup on my green beans cuz my mom told me when I was little that they were green french fries.-And yes I STILL do it!

14. I'm a people watcher. I could jus sit in a public place for hours and watch people...It entertains me!

15. I have an obsession with puppets!!!

50 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

 1. Take more time to stop and smell the roses-For myself.
2. Learn to paint.
3. Get a useless degree in something just for fun.
4. Meditate...Daily.
5. Learn Yoga.
6. Take a cross country road trip and visit all 50 states.
7. Visit the dead sea...And swim in it!
8. Drive a Formula 1 car.
9. Try and right some of my biggest wrongs...
10. Have a picnic...At midnight!
11. Open a Swiss bank account.
12. Place $10,000 bet on one hand of poker in a Vegas casino.
13. Use my gifts in nursing to help others in a 3rd world country.
14. Set foot on all 7 continents.
15. Live like a local for a month.
16. Visit a real Blues Bar.
17. Visit a real New York coffee/poetry reading house.
18. Learn to surf.
19. Visit an active volcano.
20. Spend 24 hours alone in the jungle.
21. Cross a country using only public transportation. See a country the way most of its people do: from the window of a bus, train, or ferry.
22. Spend the night in a storied/historic/haunted hotel.23. Attend the Summer Olympics.
24. Stand on the North Pole.
25. Visit the birthplace or grave site of a cultural icon.-I'm not sure which one yet...        
26. Enjoy a freshly rolled cigar in Cuba. 27. Write my life story.
28. Blow a month's salary on something completely ridiculous but awesome!-You can't take it with you right?!
29. Do a self portrait.
30. Plant a tree and carve my name in it!
31. Plan a very elaborate practical joke.
32. Spend a week at sea.
33. Skinny dip at midnight.
34. Have a trashy Vegas wedding!
35. Ride a horse in the surf.
36. Sleep outdoors, underneath the stars.
37. Surf and snowboard in the same day.
38. View a house that is at least 3 times what I could ever afford.
39. Research my family tree.
40. Find my 1/2 sister.
41. Get my fortune read.
42. Write letters to everyone I care about-Only to be opened after I'm gone.
43. Spend the day giving money to strangers.-Just to see the smiles on their faces.
44. Live off the land for a month.
45. Walk a marathon.
46. Visit all the places on my bucket list!
47. Test drive a car I could never afford...By a LONG shot!
48. Watch and photograph a lightning storm at sea.
49. Be the member of the audience on a TV show.
50. Shower in a waterfall.

Yup, It's OK...# 4

Yup, It's OK:
1. To shower with the lights off.
2. To question your path in life without feeling guilty or making any changes.
3. To dance around in your underwear and knee-high socks and sing at the top of your lungs when you are all alone in your house...Or even if you aren't alone!
4. To use ketchup on 95 % on what you are eating!
5. To never ever be your boss' friend on Facebook...Bad idea!                    
6. To use your cell phone as a tool to get away from whatever annoying person is trying to talk to you!-Pretend to text! Works every time!
7. To decide NOT to wear a white wedding dress.
8. To still love Tae-Bo and do it often! Who needs Zumba?!
9. To get totally grossed out when mommies talk about their changing bodies during and after pregnancy...
10. To take a "SICK" day to jus relax and get some extra rest. It's for your own sanity right?!

Photography Is NOT A CRIME!

I love the art of photography. It has really enriched my life in sooo many ways! I am blessed to have a vision and a passion that I am able to share with the world. Photography has given me a unique voice and allows me to express myself, and allows others to see the world as I see it, at least for that moment. But as my art evolves and I branch into different types of photography I have met some resistance. It seems as though if you are not the standard family/portrait/wedding photog you are viewed as a "THREAT." Public or Street Photography has always been an interest of mine. But it seems as though this type of photography is seen as Terrorism. What are these people afraid of? JPG Magazine says it the best~"In a post 9/11 age of paranoia and suspicion, public photography is increasingly seen as threatening, or mistaken as criminal...Amateur photographers are the documentarians of real life. We capture our world to help us understand it. We are not a threat." It is the ones that are trying to censor us that are the real threat. I plan to continue taking photographs of RAW, REAL life as it happens. As I do so, some people may be offended by my artistic point of view, but still I WILL shoot on. And you can be certain of one thing-I am educating myself on the law and my rights so I can start my crusade to bring the truth to the people. So, anyone that is interested-Please continue to follow Crawtography and see the results of all the exciting adventures my new found passion for Street Photography is bringing to my art!                 

 Some Facts That May Interest You:

1. Anyone in a public place can take pictures of anything they want. Public places include parks, sidewalks, malls, etc. Malls? Yeah. Even though it’s technically private property, being open to the public makes it public space.
2. If you are on public property, you can take pictures of private property. If a building, for example, is visible from the sidewalk, it’s fair game.
3. If you are on private property and are asked not to take pictures, you are obligated to honor that request. This includes posted signs.
4. Sensitive government buildings (military bases, nuclear facilities) can prohibit photography if it is deemed a threat to national security.
5. People can be photographed if they are in public (without their consent) unless they have secluded themselves and can expect a reasonable degree of privacy. Kids swimming in a fountain? Okay. Somebody entering their PIN at the ATM? Not okay.
6. The following can almost always be photographed from public places, despite popular opinion:
* accident & fire scenes, criminal activities
* bridges & other infrastructure, transportation facilities (i.e. airports)
* industrial facilities, Superfund sites
* public utilities, residential & commercial buildings
* children, celebrities, law enforcement officers                                               
* UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, Chuck Norris
7. Although “security” is often given as the reason somebody doesn’t want you to take photos, it’s rarely valid. Taking a photo of a publicly visible subject does not constitute terrorism, nor does it infringe on a company’s trade secrets.
8. If you are challenged, you do not have to explain why you are taking pictures, nor to you have to disclose your identity (except in some cases when questioned by a law enforcement officer.)
9. Private parties have very limited rights to detain you against your will, and can be subject to legal action if they harass you.
10. If someone tries to confiscate your camera and/or film, you don’t have to give it to them. If they take it by force or threaten you, they can be liable for things like theft and coercion. Even law enforcement officers need a court order.

What To Do If You’re Confronted while photographing:

-Be respectful and polite. Use good judgement and don’t escalate the situation.
-If the person becomes combative or difficult, think about calling the police.
-Threats, detention, and taking your camera are all grounds for legal or civil actions on your part. -Be sure to get the person’s name, employer, and what legal grounds they claim for their actions.
-If you don’t want to involve the authorities, go above the person’s head to their supervisor or their company’s public relations department.
-Call your local TV and radio stations and see if they want to do a story about your civil liberties.
-Put the story on the web yourself if need be.

25 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me...

 1. I shower in the dark...Every day!

2. Peanut butter and Oreos are my comfort food.            

3. I was a swimmer in HS!-Well you prolly knew that...But I am afraid of the water, Not pool water, but water where you can't see the bottom ie lakes, rivers, the ocean!-LOL

4. I should have majored in English in college. Apparently I'm gifted in that area (Says a very important test) but I dislike it very much.

5. I almost quit nursing school my freshman year!-Thank God I didn't!

6. Sometimes, when I am really stressed out, I like to sit in my walk-in closet...In the dark.      

7. I have curly hair!-Ok you knew that too...But I hid it until I was a junior in HS and I have no idea why!-LOL

8. I have been afraid of the Halloween movies since I was six...But every time they are on TV or a new one comes out, I HAVE to watch it.

9. I have multiple tattoos!-Alot of people don't know that about me cuz I hide them...for no apparent reason...Other than I can!!!-LOL

10. I have a 1/2 sister somewhere out there in the world, that I have never met...

11. I've never been arrested. But one time a cop put in me handcuffs to scare me!-And oh man did it ever!!!

12. I am scared  to death of going to jail! Not that I ever break the law (At least not a law big enough to warrant jail time), but jus the thought or threat of being hauled in to the BIG HOUSE makes me want to be a law abiding citizen and never ever break ANY laws...EVER!

13. I'm spoiled in my relationship. I expect to get tucked in every time I go to sleep...And sometimes for fun I get un-tucked jus so I can get tucked in again!                        

14. I am OBSESSED w/ gangsta culture...ie Gangs, The Hood, Rap Music etc.

15. I had braces in HS...Obviously right?! Well I loved every minute they were on my teeth and I was very sad to see them go!

16. I absolutely LOVE babies/kids. Although I am undecided whether I want to have any of my own.
  
17. I dream of the day I can go back to college and get a degree in something totally useless...Just for fun!

18. I love to eat, but hate to cook.

19. I have always thought I could share my nursing skills by helping others in a 3rd world country.

20. I am slightly obsessed with ducks, and anything with stripes!!!

21. I have a big red mark on the back of my right arm. It looks like a giant bruise. People never believe me when I tell them it's a burn scar from when I was 2.

22. I'm a secret gear head. I LOVE cars!!!-I could totally become a mechanic!

23. I will knock you down in order to get home to watch One Tree Hill!!!

24. I'm a major BITCH when I'm tired.

25. I worry about money all the time...Even when I have plenty of it. So, because of this irrational worry, I MUST always put at least one thing back before I check out at the store...